
Using a deep level of rapport and language to influence people into action
Although it may seem that communication is an ability we’re all born with, the truth is quite the opposite.
Yes we all have two ears to listen with, eyes to observe with, and a mouth to voice our concerns and opinions, but most people never learn how to use these free instruments effectively and appropriately.
Knowledge of how communication should be applied in business and skillfully practicing it, will lead to massive improvements in a company’s productivity levels.
Many leaders today, in different contexts, often question how to establish a deep level of rapport to create conducive situations in which to communicate effectively with others, and move them to action.
As Abraham Lincoln once said: “If you would win a man to your cause, first convince him you’re his sincere friend.”
People are always a business’ greatest resource. And the level of leaders’ ability to create rapport, is the level in which leaders can tap into effectively to influence people into action.
Rapport can be defined as the ability to form a powerful human bond and relationship of responsiveness when entering another person’s world, making them feel understood and accepted.
Every interaction with another being is a relationship and every relationship thrives when there’s alignment, cohesion, stimulation, and compassion. You thus have rapport with someone when there’s harmony, conformity, accord, or affinity, and mutual liking and trust.
In the workplace, rapport can mostly be viewed as the development of trust, understanding, respect, and liking among employees. Once you’ve established rapport with a person, he/she is far more likely to support your ideas and aspirations.
Regardless of the context, when teams feel connected in a shared vision, they’re more likely to put forth their best efforts. On the contrary, when they feel isolated, misunderstood, or excluded, even if it’s just one person, it will have an adverse effect on emotional states and productivity.
Most importantly, rapport is the cornerstone for building trust. According to the book, The Speed of Trust by Stephen MR Covey, when you lack trust in a workplace, you lack a fundamental connection that builds and fosters meaningful results.
In order to effectively build rapport and cultivate trust, you need to understand not only how to communicate with others, but also how they interpret that communication that would result into action or inaction.
In this way improved communication can increase productivity, improve performance, increase revenue and decrease costs.
For the aforementioned to happen though, would require motivating employees into action through the art of ‘influencing language’ – meaning, understanding what the trigger points are for individuals.
For example:
For leaders – it’s understanding the needs and values of employees and empathising with those needs.
For sales persons – it’s understanding the customer’s needs and problems, then tapping into the unconscious behaviour trait of that customer to link what you have with what they need. This will strengthen the sale and secure continuous business.
For parents – it’s understanding what motivates their kids and how to communicate with them more effectively by matching their generation thinking frameworks.
For HR recruiters – it’s understanding the specific requirements of a certain job opening, and matching motivational and attitudinal traits of the candidate to that job, thereby making the best possible selection to avoid frequent employee turnover, and saving the company from unnecessary human capital losses.
As Shelle Rose Charvet says in her book, Words That Change Minds: “Once you’ve identified the motivational and attitudinal traits of others, it becomes a way of thinking about people and groups that allows you to notice and respond to how they get motivated; process information and make decisions.”
The art of influencing language, thus explores how to change the ways in which to communicate or influence others, and which will ultimately build rapport and create win-win situations in the work place.
Being able to see things and situations from employees’ perspectives, allows leaders to understand them better and to apply empathy, which is the foundation of building rapport.
During all Training Excellence’s communication programs and interactions, we show businesses several ways in which to identify traits and how to build rapport with empathy, by acknowledging someone’s motivational and attitudinal preferences, instead of ignoring or deleting it through inappropriate language in context.
We take you through a journey of creating an agreement framework of communication, which will bond people together and open doors to redirecting others without creating resistance.
By channelling communication effectively within the organisation, leaders and employees are not shunned by communication barriers such as emotion or structural problems, but led to stronger bonds and cooperation.
For more information on the art of Influencing Language and Communication please contact Hawa Charfaray, CEO: Training Excellence South Africa and Consultant in Dubai (UAE) on hawa@trainexcellence.co.za
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More about Hawa Charfaray:
Hawa Charfaray is an internationally recognised business executive, with 24 years of business experience in South Africa and UAE.
Hawa is a renowned international corporate trainer and motivational speaker, having delivered world-class training and seminars to global companies such as World Bank, VW, First National Bank, Mercedes Benz, IBM, Abu Dhabi Airport Company, and Gulf Centre for Aviation Studies.
Hawa’s experience extends to coaching and mentoring of the youth, women executives, and EXCO level leaders.
As a certified Echometric practitioner, Hawa is qualified to measure organisational health; employee engagement and individual personal driving dynamics within organisations and teams using tools that are scientifically valid and reliable.
Hawa is also qualified as a certified language and behaviour profiling specialist and certified IWAM Professional (Inventory for Work Attitude and Motivation), a unique assessment tool that provides a window into intrinsic and attitudinal patterns of people in the context of work in relation to human resource management.
Hawa is also a qualified and registered trainer, assessor and moderator for various SETA’s in SA. She is also appointed as the certified CAMI (Carlton Advanced Management Institute faculty for Africa and the Middle East

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